I read today's newspaper headline in utter disgust. Another innocent Malaysian is victimized by the draconian laws of the ISA. And for what? For doing her job as a journalist. For reporting actual details of a situation. For letting the truth out for all to know.
Ahmad Ismail's actions can never be justified. Every other day we boast to the world about "how racially harmonious and peaceful" our country is. "COME VISIT MALAYSIA!" we shout out loud. "A MELTING POT OF CULTURES WHERE ITS PEOPLE HOLD HANDS AND DANCE AROUND SINGING 'IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL'!"
Yet someone who made a racist remark like that could be let off so simply. What disturbs and sickens me is that by refusing to admit and apologize for his mistake, the very remark he made is actually what he believes in (who knows, his sentiments may possibly be echoed by many others as well) - that "Chinese are squatters and that as they are only immigrants it is impossible for them to achieve equal rights among races". Okay, so he has been suspended (not sacked) from UMNO for 3 years. What's the big deal. He can still go on with life as usual and is still allowed to roam the streets with all the money in the world to splash.
I am glad the MCA has expressed their shock over the arrest of Tan Hoon Cheng and not Ahmad Ismail (probably one of their few good deeds in many years), though expressing is one thing and doing something about it is another.
We are already in the 21st century. For decades we have lived together on the same land, breathing the same air. We go to the same schools and shopping malls. We work together. We stay in the same neighourhoods. Racism should never in a million years be tolerated. I am not angry because I am a Chinese and Ahmad Ismail has offended my race. If a Chinese were to degrade a Malay or an Indian it should not be taken lightly as well (though, trust me, if such a thing were to happen even our great-grandchildren will not hear the end of it.). I have Malay and Indian friends whom I like and care for, and I wouldn't be able to bear if such insults were to be thrown at them.
Sometimes I laugh at myself for having the desire to come back to Malaysia in the future. Many people would advise against that. I don't blame them. I wouldn't want my children to grow up to be idiots like more than half the population. I wouldn't want them to have a run-in with the law for something they didn't do. I wouldn't want them to be wrongfully detained under the ISA for having an opinion or for telling the truth. But this is my country and my heart is here, yet so many times I think the idea of coming home is undoubtedly absurd. How?
I feel so caged up. Even by writing this entry I have to be cautious with my choice of words and think twice before clicking on the "PUBLISH" button, because I'll never know who would stumble upon this and have ME arrested the very next hour. After all, the authorities are capable of such an inhumane act as we have seen time and time again. Freedom of words. Total BULL.
It is hard to say I love my country at the moment. There was a glimmer of hope after the March elections... but I am doubting everything right now. Whatever hope I had is dangling on a string. All I'm thankful for is that we are given the right to practice our own religion without being persecuted. But that is all. I don't know what else this country has given me or done for me.
How sad is that?
We're going backwards. Backwards backwards backwards. Soon we will see countries currently worse off, surpass us in every aspect. And then what else is there for us to boast about, huh?
