Sunday, 29 March 2009

Meet My Greatgrandma.

so today is Cheng Beng.

of the 21 years of my life, i've not gone for Cheng Beng ever, even though everyone else in my family does it every year without fail. and by the time they come back from the graveyard, i'd still be sound asleep. hehe. EVERY year. oh well. i couldn't care less, to be honest.

speaking of Cheng Beng, i remember a phone conversation i had with Chongkz 2 or 3 years ago during CNY.

Chongkz: "Hahlo? Where are you?"
Me: "I'm on the way to visit my greatgrandmother."
Chongkz: "Huh? During CNY?"
Me: "HUH?! Why not?!"
Chongkz: "But it's not Cheng Beng."
Me: "She's still alive la stupid."

...

yes people, i don't know how many of you still have your greatgrandparents around but i do have one greatgrandmother (mother's mother's mother) alive and well. i actually managed to see 2 other greatgrandmothers and 1 greatgrandfather before they passed away. amazing eh?

now this greatgrandmother of mine - the one who's still alive - she's one feisty woman. visiting her is quite entertaining, actually. you see, her mouth is full of shit that i'm pretty sure nobody can possibly beat her in a who-has-the-nastiest-mouth competition. every alternate word in a sentence of hers is a foul word, be it in hokkien or cantonese. in fact, the only reason my cousins love going to visit her is that they get to pick up a new bad word or two to add to their fabulous vocab - and they don't even speak chinese.

i went to see her the other day and she wanted to give me money. i was very excited about the money (who wouldn't be?) but my dear mum got irritated for some odd reason and kept telling her not to give it to me! blurghhh what the hell. if an old woman wants to give you money YOU MUST NOT DECLINE! that's the rule of thumb.

obviously my greatgrandma got very offended because the next thing i knew, she was facing me and shouting, "DIU NIA MA! DIUUUUUUU NIAAA MAAAAAA!" while pointing at my mother.

wahlao. i couldnt stop laughing!

funnier still, we were actually in a temple where she was staying for a few days (some sort of a camp for old people - so cute, right?). so ya.. you can imagine a tiny shrivelling old woman shouting curse words in front of nuns and monks and everybody else. it was hilarious. bad words were flying out of her mouth like bullets from a machine gun. in the end, of course, my mum had to give in and i was RM10 richer.

oh and did i mention she has a well (A WELL!) in her kitchen? but she stays in a faraway kampung so i guess it's not that surprising? i don't know. the well's all dried up, though. her hobbies are drinking kopi-o under a big tree with her slightly-less (but still very) foul-mouthed neighbours while they curse at other neighbours and... oh. i think that's all she does.

heeh. what a funny old woman.